EXCITING NEWS FOR OUR FAMILY LAW CLIENTS!

If you have children, the divorce will probably be as difficult for them as it is for you. You should use steps to ease their burden. Part of this involves how you tell them about the divorce and what you say about your spouse. If possible, it is usually better if you tell the children about the divorce together. Do not dump your bad feelings about your spouse or the situation on your children.  Simply tell them that the two of you have decided it is better to live apart. Reassure the children that divorce is not their fault and that they still have both parents. Depending on your circumstance, you may want to alert your children’s counselors and teachers to the family change so that they can be on the lookout for behavior changes.  Many children can be helped by counseling as they adapt to life after their parents separate.

Psychological effects of divorce on children can vary based on a number of factors including the child’s age, temperament, and individual circumstances.  Some children may experience feelings of abandonment or powerlessness, while others may feel anger, guilt, or loss.  It is important for parents to be aware of how their children are feeling and to provide them with support and guidance throughout the divorce process. This may include seeking out professional counseling or therapy, as well as taking steps to establish routines and structures that help children feel safe and secure.  With the right support   and care, it has been my experience that most children are able to successfully navigate the challenges of divorce and are stronger and more resilient as a result.   

Any debts incurred during your marriage are considered to be marital debts.  This is true even if your name is not on the account, or if it is a card that you never used.  When your divorce is finalized, there will be Orders regarding which debts each of you are to pay. However, the creditor is not bound by this court order.  If your ex spouse does not make the payments that he/she was ordered to make, the creditor can still pursue collection efforts against both of you.  Your recourse is to take your former spouse back to court and ask that he or she be held in contempt for failing to abide by the court Order to pay certain debts. 

If you provide medical insurance for your spouse and/or children through your insurance, do not drop them from the policy at least until the divorce is final.  Not only will the court usually require this, but if your spouse or children were to incur a significant uninsured medical expense, you could be held responsible for the payment of that debt.   Most insurance companies will not permit coverage for a former spouse to continue once the divorce is concluded, but will allow insurance benefits for children under the age of 26.  If you incur an additional premium to provide medical insurance coverage for your children, the amount of the premium is taken into consideration when calculating child support.  

If you wish to provide medical insurance coverage for your former spouse following the divorce, Federal law will usually allow you to cover a former spouse for a maximum of 36 months, but will require the payment of an additional premium.  My experience is that getting insurance coverage on the insurance exchange is usually less expensive than paying an additional premium through your employer’s insurance.  Please keep in mind that you are generally not required to provide medical insurance for a former spouse once a divorce is finalized.  

Generally speaking, Indiana does not have alimony.  Instead, it does allow for maintenance payments in certain instances.  Specifically, the court may order one spouse to pay money to the other spouse if the other spouse is physically or mentally incapacitated to the extent that the ability of that person to support him/herself is affected.  The court may also award maintenance if the court finds that one spouse is the custodian of a child who’s physical or mental incapacity requires the  parent  to forego employment to stay home and care for the incapacitated child.

Finally, if the court finds that one spouse has given up his or her education or employment to assume homemaking or childcare responsibilities, the other spouse may be ordered to pay rehabilitative maintenance for a period not to exceed three(3) years.  This maintenance is for the purpose of allowing the other spouse time to obtain skills that will assist him or her in obtaining employment.

In Indiana, a divorce cannot be granted until at least 60 days have passed since the filing of your Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. This is a minimum waiting period.  There is no maximum. My experience indicates that unless every aspect of your case is agreed upon, your divorce will take several months to conclude. During this waiting period, your attorney will work with you to obtain information and resolve the issues of your case.  If an agreement can be reached, it is reduced to writing and submitted to the court for approval.  If you cannot resolve all issues, then the matter is set for a hearing which is held before a family law judge who will then decide all of the contested issues.  

In any divorce proceeding that involves minor children, there are four major issues to need to be resolved, either by agreement or by court Order. No matter how big or small the marital estate might be, and no matter how many children you have, there are only be four main issues to be decided. 

They are: 

1) Child Custody

2) Parenting Time

3) Child support

4) Property Division.

Violence within the family is much more common than many of us believe.  Divorces often bring on an increase in such violence; 50% of serious assaults occur at or after the point of legal separation or divorce. 

If there has been any violence in your family, you need to discuss this with your attorney before anything is filed in court.  You may benefit from a Restraining Order or an Order for Protection. Most spouses will simply stay away if such an order has been issued.  Even if your spouse does not obey that Order, it will help the police to physically remove your spouse and enforce the Order if you are able to show them the Order. 

If you have engaged in violence toward your spouse or children during the marriage, you need to discuss that with your attorney so that he or she can be prepared to deal with that issue.  There is a good likelihood that your spouse will parade this behavior before the court in the course of the divorce proceeding and your attorney needs to be prepared for it. 

I am often asked if it is permissible to date while going through a divorce proceeding. Although discretion should be used, you are allowed to date while your divorce case is pending.  However, be sure to use common sense when children are involved, especially if custody is an issue. If you are dating someone and custody is an issue, you should discuss this matter with your attorney to determine how this might impact your case.   You certainly don’t want your attorney to be surprised by certain facts that may come out in court for the first time.  

If custody is not an issue, or if there are no minor children, then dating is freely permissible.  However, you don’t want to  spend large sums of money or buy things for your significant other, as the court could deem this as being a dissipation of marital assets.  Again, this is an issue you should discuss in detail with your attorney.

All too often people use the telephone not to communicate but to vent their anger or to intimidate. The angry spouse may call to scream insults or make hang up calls.  The first case is the easiest to deal with.  Just hang up.  If you choose to stay on the telephone and listen to the rude jerk who called, then you have made a bad choice and should not complain about it.  If the calls are threatening in nature, you should report that to your attorney and immediately seek an order for protection with the court.  Your attorney can instruct you on how to do that.  Occasionally, the court will limit communication between divorcing spouses so that it takes place exclusively through an app.  The most popular apps for that purpose  are Our Family Wizard and Talking Parents.  By using these apps, your communication can be monitored by the attorneys and  the court.  Our Family Wizard also has something called “Tone Meter” which will alert you if the message you are sending to your spouse is harsh or aggressive. 

After your divorce, you may still be eligible for a tax credit for your dependent  children .  The two main tax credits for children are the child tax credit and the dependent care credit. The child tax credit provides a credit up to $2000 per child and the dependent care credit provides a credit for eligible expenses related to the care of a dependent child.

Hopefully, during your divorce process, you and your spouse will be able to agree on who claims the children for tax purposes. You may agree to share these tax credits or to alternate them.  If you do not agree, the court will decide who shall receive the tax credits.  The court will often make this determination by considering the respective incomes of the parents, the amount of child support being paid, and who will receive the largest benefit by claiming the credit.

Two important things to look for in finding a divorce attorney that’s right for you.  

1.COMMUNICATION

I believe it is important to meet with an attorney before deciding to hire him or her.  You should make certain that the two of you have good lines of communication. Does he or she listen to your concerns and address them? Does this person appear to be compassionate and understanding? Does he or she make me feel comfortable? Are we on the same page? If you do not feel that the two of you communicate well, or if you’re not comfortable,  then you should look elsewhere.

2. EXPERIENCE

It is important that you hire an experienced family law attorney.  You wouldn’t want a Dentist to do your heart surgery. Similarly, you shouldn’t want a criminal defense attorney to do your divorce.  Experienced divorce attorneys become familiar with the judges and know what they like and don’t like.  They learn what a judge will likely do with a given situation and they are able to anticipate issues that may arise.  It is extremely important that you hire an experienced family law attorney to represent you in family law issues.  

If you believe that there is an irretrievable breakdown of your marriage, and that there is no chance for reconciliation, you should likely file for divorce.  In order to do so in Indiana, you must have been a resident of the State of Indiana for at least six(6) months prior to filing your Petition.

If you are not ready for a divorce, or not certain that you need one, you may file a Petition asking the court for a legal separation.  You may not ask for a legal separation if your spouse has already filed a Petition for Dissolution of your marriage.  In a proceeding for legal separation, you will ultimately receive a Separation Decree that will govern the conduct of you and your spouse for a period not to exceed one year.  At the end of that year, you will either need to renew the Separation Decree, or file a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage in the event that you have not successfully reconciled.  In order to file for a legal separation, you must be an Indiana resident for at least six (6) months prior to filing a Petition for Legal Separation.  

If you are an Indiana resident, but have not lived in Indiana for six months, you may file a Petition for Child Support so long as you have one or more children under the age of 19.   This would unable you to get an Order for child support, and this proceeding could be converted to a divorce once you have resided in Indiana for six months.

If you are divorced, you can receive social security retirement benefits based on your former spouse’s work history.  

This occurs only if the following is true:

 a. you were married for ten years or longer

 b. you have not remarried

 c. your former spouse is age 62 or older

 d. the retirement benefits based on your income would be less than the benefit  that you would receive using your former spouse’s benefit

 e. you meet all of the requirements to receive social security retirement benefits.

It is important to note that if you receive social security benefits based upon the income of your divorced spouse, this will not decrease the benefit that your former spouse will receive.